You know which girl we’re talking about, right? That girl, the one you can’t help but be a little jealous of. You see her Facebook pics and constant status updates, she’s always wearing the latest clothes and checking in to all the cool places while you’re at home in your pyjamas watching sitcoms. If you’ve ever felt like she has the perfect life and you don’t then you should read these five reasons why that girl is not as cool as you think, including advice from Psychologist and School Counsellor Jocelyn Brewer.
// Facebook Lies
Cover your ears Mark Zuckerberg, but what’s on Facebook is not always the truth. People carefully select what they post on Facebook and while you see that girl at the best parties wearing Christian Louboutin heels, do you really think she’ll post ‘real’ shots where she’s got zit cream and doing her chores? Jocelyn says “recognise that Facebook is like a very selective ‘scrapbook’. We mostly project the best bits and keep the not so pretty/happy/cool bits to ourselves.”
// Friends or Foes?
So that girl has 783 friends and you only have 78. Don’t fret, Jocelyn says they only count if they are actual friends. ‘Don’t mistake Facebook friends for real friends. Facebook friends are like air kisses.‘ Jocelyn recommends you make time to hang out with your friends and share new experiences without your smart phone snapping ‘look at us having an awesome time’ and checking in at every step. Put the phones down and ‘be’ with people.
// She Does So Much!
If you were to document your every move it would seem like you do so much too. Sitting on the couch and painting your nails can seem like an event if you post constant updates of what you’re doing and how you feel. Jocelyn says ‘some people overshare and look for attention by posting lots of complaints/whines and ‘poor me’ stories. Keep in mind not everything on Facebook reflects the true person and their range of daily experiences.’
// A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words…
And in cyber space a picture can have a lasting impression. That girl might be hanging out with what your mum would call the wrong crowd but you think they’re cool. Well that crowd might be cool for now but when photos of them re-surface later on they might find that what was cool at sixteen might cost them a job in the future. Jocelyn also says many of those who are constantly posting on Facebook experience serious health issues and may be ‘over-engaged and are overusing, causing sleep and behaviour problems’
// Consider what Your ‘Older Self’ Might Think
Before you start posting things to compete with that girl. Jocelyn urges you to consider the nature of what you’re posting. She says, ‘your Facebook timeline can end up being like a badly chosen tattoo – a good idea at the time, but something you might want to erase later on, and depending on what you’ve posted and certain privacy laws’. She also warns, ‘you might not be able to erase parts of your digital footprint, especially photos, which can be shared, saved and come back to haunt you!’
// ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Naomi Tsvirko is a high school English teacher and freelance writer based in Sydney, Australia. She has a Bachelor of Arts in Communication and a Bachelor of Teaching (Secondary), both from the University of Technology, Sydney. Her work has featured on the SBS Radio youth program Alchemy, Razor’s Edge on 2ser and in print and online publications including HealthSmart Magazine, The Punch.com, Sydney’s Child, Precinct and WO! Online Magazine. Naomi blogs at writeaboutme.com.au and is currently writing her first novel (a YA fiction novel).
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